Can you write your own cohabitation agreement?
6 min read
Yes — in most countries a private agreement between partners is valid without a lawyer, as long as it is written, clear and signed by both. The real risks are vague wording and forgotten assets, not the missing lawyer.
In short
- A private cohabitation agreement is generally valid without a lawyer in most countries.
- It must be in writing, unambiguous and signed by both partners.
- The most common DIY mistakes are vague clauses, forgotten assets and no routine for updates.
- Bring in a lawyer when the finances are complex: a business, large assets or inheritance involved.
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Yes, you can do it yourself
In most countries two adults can agree on how to organise their shared finances, and that agreement is binding without a lawyer drafting it. Cohabitees rarely have the same automatic rights as married couples, which is exactly why the agreement matters — without one, default rules or no rules at all decide the outcome.
What the law usually requires is not a lawyer, but form: the agreement should be in writing, it should be clear enough that a stranger can understand it, and both partners must sign it. Some jurisdictions add formal requirements for agreements about real property, so check what applies where you live.
Where DIY agreements go wrong
The failures are almost never dramatic. They are small ambiguities that only surface years later, when the relationship is already over and goodwill is in short supply.
- Vague wording: “we share the costs fairly” means nothing when you disagree about what fair is.
- Forgotten assets: the car, the cabin, the savings account, the furniture bought before moving in.
- Wrong assumptions: clauses copied from another country's template may not match your local rules.
- No update routine: an agreement written for a rented flat rarely fits a mortgaged house with children.
What a solid agreement covers
A good cohabitation agreement answers five questions before anyone needs to ask them. Ownership: who owns what, and in which shares. Contributions: how deposits, repayments and renovations are counted. Shared costs: how rent or mortgage, utilities and food are divided. Separation: how the home and shared assets are settled if you split up. Updates: when and how the agreement is revised.
Write it in plain language you both understand. A clause you have to explain to each other later is a clause that will be argued about later.
When to involve a lawyer
Some situations genuinely need professional help: one partner owns a business, there are large or complex assets, children from previous relationships, inheritance expectations, or you are buying property across borders. A one-hour review of your draft is usually enough, and far cheaper than a dispute.
For a typical couple with a home and ordinary finances, a well-structured private agreement does the job — provided it is kept current.
Getting it done
Start with the structure, then fill in your own numbers. cohab guides you through each point — ownership shares, contributions, shared costs and the settlement waterfall — and both partners sign digitally, so the result is written, dated and stored where neither of you can lose it.
Once signed, set a reminder to revisit the agreement after big changes: a home purchase, a child, a new job, a large renovation. An agreement that follows your life stays useful; one that is forgotten in a drawer does not.
Frequently asked questions
Does the agreement have to be notarised?
Usually not. Most countries accept a private written agreement signed by both partners. Some add formal requirements for agreements about real property — check your local rules if the agreement covers a home.
Is a verbal agreement enough?
In theory some verbal agreements can be binding, but in practice they are nearly impossible to prove. A cohabitation agreement exists to settle disputes about money and property — exactly the situations where memory is least reliable. Write it down.
What absolutely must be included?
At minimum: ownership shares in the home and other major assets, how contributions are counted and settled, how shared costs are divided, and what happens if you separate. Add a routine for updates, or the agreement will age out of relevance.
How often should we update it?
Review it after any major life change — buying a home, having children, significant changes in income or large new assets — and otherwise every couple of years. Both partners should sign every revision.
Formal requirements for cohabitation agreements — writing, witnessing, registration — vary between countries. A private written agreement is valid in most places, but take local advice, especially when real property is involved.
This guide is general information, not legal advice. Rules differ between countries — consult a local professional for your situation.
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